Supporting, not suppressing

By: Cristina Martínez M.B.A, M.S, BCBA, LBA Coauthor: Ariadna Martin MS

Some moments in parenting catch our attention right away: a child flapping their hands when they are excited, lining up toys with great focus, or repeating the same movement or sound again and again. These behaviors can be easy to notice, and for many parents, they naturally bring questions, curiosity, and at times, concern.

Repetitive behaviors, often called “stimming”, are a natural part of how many children, especially those on the autism spectrum, experience the world. These behaviors can serve important purposes. They may help a child regulate their body, manage overwhelming sensations, express excitement, or simply feel calm and in control. In other words, what may look unusual from the outside often has meaning on the inside.

In recent years, there has been an important and necessary conversation in the field of ABA and beyond: Should all repetitive behaviors be reduced?
The answer is no, not always. Ethical approaches to ABA focus on understanding why a behavior happens before deciding whether it needs to change. Not every repetitive behavior is harmful. Many are safe, self-regulating, and meaningful for the child. In these cases, the goal is not to stop the behavior, but to respect it. At the same time, there are situations where support may be needed. If a repetitive behavior interferes with learning, limits participation, or places the child at risk of harm, then intervention may help the child access more opportunities and stay safe. This is where balance becomes important.

Sometimes, instead of removing a behavior, we simply make space for it, while also teaching new skills that help the child navigate different environments. In some cases, what we are really teaching is how to identify the best moments and spaces for those behaviors to flow freely, and other moments in which more context-appropriate alternatives may be helpful, especially when the behavior may interfere.

For example, a child who enjoys hand movements when excited may continue to do so freely, while also learning other ways to express that same excitement in shared settings. A high five, a cheerful “hooray” with raised arms, or another simple celebratory action can serve a similar communicative purpose while also creating opportunities for interaction and connection. In this way, we are not replacing the child’s expression, but expanding it. Both can coexist.

When we take the time to see what those behaviors mean, we can respond with more empathy, more clarity, and more respect. And from that place, we can help children grow, not by taking something away, but by giving them more ways to connect, communicate, and feel comfortable in their own world.